What Role Does Fear Play in Your Life?
Are you struggling with fear?
Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being found out, fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of what everyone will think about you, fear of losing, fear of winning, fear of your husband's opinions, fear of your wife's, or fear of not being enough? It doesn't matter which one resonates with you; all of these fears can stop you from achieving your goals.
People often talk about being fearless, but I'm beginning to have mixed feelings about it. Here's the thing: if I'm able to access fearlessness, it's because I'm in my comfort zone. Making a big deal about being fearless may be counterproductive since being fearless is just a function of doing what I'm already good at or familiar with.
That said, fear should be evaluated regularly.
If your fears are paralyzing rather than motivating, it's time to make some changes. When we do something new, confronting, challenging, and out of our comfort zone—things that help us grow and bring about magical results—fear can be a good thing. There will always be some degree of fear in these actions. Trying to be fearless when you're scared is ineffective. The key is to lean into the fear and act anyway.
Do any of these beliefs sound familiar? "I'm not ready...", "I can't do it...", "I'm not good enough...", "I'm not worthy...", "I don't deserve it...", "I'm a fraud...", "I'm unloveable...", "I'm bad." These beliefs, created from past experiences, can lead to fear, anxiety, and doubt. I'm often fearful, but I'm learning to use it to my advantage. Instead of trying to be fearless when your body and mind are telling you to be scared, commit to being unstoppable. That's how I've chosen to deal with fear: by being unstoppable and willing to stay that way.
Understanding how our brains can be easily manipulated by fear is essential for regaining control of our lives.
Our brains are hardwired to respond to fear, which can lead to limiting beliefs, anxiety, and doubt. It stores all the details associated with past experiences, such as sights, sounds, odours, time of day, weather, etc. These memories tend to be very durable, although they may also be fragmented.
When we encounter cues from a past fearful event or experience, such as sights, sounds, or other contextual details, they may bring back the memory or cause us to feel afraid without consciously knowing why. This is because our brains associate these cues with danger or severe discomfort, so they are seen as predictors of threat. As a result, we instinctively feel fear, anxiety, or doubt to prepare us for fight or flight.
The trick is to understand that the stories we create in our minds are not true—they are stories we made up and, over time, they have taken hold of us, so we live our lives as if they were true. These stories and limiting beliefs are in the background, unseen like a puppeteer pulling the strings. When we start to become aware of this, we can begin to cultivate what I like to call "unshakable power." Unshakable power is a choice that becomes stronger with practice. It is also a natural consequence of recognizing our limiting beliefs for what they really are—not true!
If you can recognize those triggers, you will be well on your way to understanding that you do, in fact, have control of changing those stories. You are in control, and you can make friends with fear so that it serves you rather than controls you! Recognizing the stories we create in our minds, and understanding the consequences of these stories, is essential for regaining control of our lives. By leaning into the fear and acting anyway, we can cultivate unshakable power.
To regain control and make fear a force for good,
we must recognize our triggers and challenge our stories.
Everyone has a story, a narrative that shapes who they are. For some, fear has played a defining role in their story. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of being vulnerable—all of these fears, and more, have had a tremendous impact on the way we make choices, the paths we take, and the stories we tell.
Recognizing our triggers and challenging our stories can help us regain control and make fear a force for good. With practice, we can learn to lean into fear and act anyway, cultivating unshakable power. Fear can be a powerful motivator, pushing us to take risks and do things we never thought possible. By using fear to our advantage, we can make it a part of our story that we can be proud of.
