The Value of All Friendships: Why They Matter

I believe friendship can be measured in many different ways.

As a toddler, it's about who shares their toys with you. In grade school, it's about who includes you in recess games and who shares their snacks. In high school, it's about how many likes and comments you get on Instagram, and who is the first one to wish you a happy birthday at 12:01 am. But when you become an adult, it all changes. It's no longer about who includes you in the group, who shares their belongings with you, or the number of likes you get on social media. Or is it? 

What is your definition of friendship and where did it come from?

Do you rate your friendships based on what they do for you, or do you accept them as they are?

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, figuratively speaking. Some appear precisely when you need them, while others vanish without warning. Some are in your life for a short time, while others stay for life. I've noticed that each friend meets a different need at the right moment. And I've come to appreciate this as I journey through life.

When I first fell ill, I was overwhelmed by the love and support from people I hadn't heard from in 30 years. It would have been easy to be resentful or blame them, but I don't think that's what friendship is about. I believe friendship is meant to help you grow, and when it has served its purpose, the relationship may dissolve temporarily or permanently. It may even resume down the road. There are also friendships on a soul level that last a lifetime, where you only need to connect a few times a year and pick up where you left off. And then there are the ones you see or speak to daily, who are your pillar of strength. 

“No matter the type of friendship, they are all equally important, even the ones that are no longer there.”

Studies have shown that friendships can have a positive impact on physical and mental health. For example, a 2018 study from the University of Oxford found that having strong relationships with friends and family can help reduce the risk of depression and loneliness. Additionally, a 2020 study from the University of California showed that people with a larger circle of friends and confidants were more likely to be physically active and less likely to suffer from chronic illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes. These findings highlight the importance of different kinds of friendships and how they can benefit our physical and mental well-being.

I have learned many lessons on my journey to overcoming fear. Friendship is a gift, and it can manifest in different ways during times of crisis. Some friends may run to you with open arms, while others may run away in fear. Neither response is a reflection of you; it is simply the nature of the relationship at that moment. Through this, we can become more compassionate and reevaluate our definition of friendship. There is no room for judgment here; when a crisis hits, the focus should be on being grateful for the friendships we have, no matter their shape or size. No matter how many friendships we have, or how they come and go, we should be grateful for the friendships we have and show compassion for those who may react differently during times of crisis.

Ultimately, friendship is a gift that should be cherished and appreciated, no matter how fleeting or permanent it may be.

As I continue to grow and evolve, I can take comfort in the knowledge that friendship is a precious gift that will continue to teach me lessons. No matter how many friendships I have, or how they come and go, I can be grateful for the friendships in my life and I am fortunate to have experienced them in so many ways.

[Want to be Instagram friends? Come say Hi! 👋 ]