Ask Diane: How do you find work-life balance?
Ask Diane is a feature column where I help answer your questions about moving forward in life in the most authentic and fulfilling way possible! We dive into spiritual practices, lessons we've learned from overcoming struggles, and ways to break through limiting beliefs. Have a question for me? Feel free to reach out!
Hi Diane,
I’m currently in a really good place in my career, which I've worked hard for and it feels great! However, I can't help but have this looming feeling that I'm "dropping the ball" in other areas of my life. Is it too much to want it all? How on earth do I find work-life balance?
Achieving a work-life balance has become increasingly difficult in today's fast-paced world. The rise of technology has made it easier to stay connected to work and personal responsibilities at all times, blurring the lines between the two. The pressure to excel in both areas can lead to burnout, stress, and a lack of fulfillment.
However, work-life balance is not about finding equal time for work and personal life. Rather, it involves intentionally managing and prioritizing different aspects of life to achieve a sense of fulfillment and balance that aligns with one's values and goals. In this document, we explore different strategies to help you achieve a work-life balance, tailored to your unique needs and circumstances.
When thinking about balance within our intricate, multifaceted lives, it's useful to consider balance as a verb, rather than a noun…
bal·ance
noun
an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
The noun definition of "balance" refers to an even distribution of weight, enabling something to remain upright and steady. However, achieving work-life balance is not just about finding equal time for work and personal life. That is impossible (there aren't enough hours in a day!), and it will inevitably lead to burnout.
bal·ance
verb
keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.
offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.
The verb definition of "balance" illustrates an active process of keeping something in a steady position so that it does not fall. Similarly, achieving work-life balance is not a static state, but rather an ongoing process of making adjustments to keep all the different elements of our lives in check. It's about being intentional with how we distribute our time and energy, and recognizing that we can't always put 100% into every area of our lives at once. Instead, we need to shift our focus and energy as needed, while still maintaining an overall sense of balance. For this reason, it requires regular check-ins with yourself, so that you can evaluate that the energy is distributed in a way that feels nourishing and fulfilling to you, at this stage.
Here are some specific strategies to help you achieve more balance:
1. Assess your life and set priorities:
During one of my sessions with my coach, she said something that stuck with me, she said: "Don't say you didn't have time to do it, just admit that it wasn't your priority." This statement completely changed the trajectory of my life. I had always been so busy with work that I would use the excuse that I didn't have enough time. However, I now realize that I had plenty of time, I just chose to spend it all on work because I had not made my personal life a priority.
My advice is to start by listing your priorities. This list will be unique to you and may change throughout different stages of your life. Knowing where your priorities lie allows you to be intentional with your time. For example, if you need to cut back on one area of your life to fulfill another that is higher up on your list of priorities, you won't feel like you've dropped the ball. Instead, you'll feel validated that you're living with integrity.
When working with clients seeking a better work-life balance, I often introduce them to the Wheel of Life. This self-assessment tool helps you analyze and visualize which areas of your life are feeling nourished and fulfilled, and which areas are lacking effort and time. Completing the Wheel of Life can help you more effectively set your priorities and take action.
Access and download a copy of the Wheel of Life assessment tool here.
2. Organize and set micro-goals:
Now, examine your results from the Wheel of Life and identify one or two categories in which you scored low in fulfillment. Choose one goal that can help improve that area of your life, and make it a bite-sized goal that can be done daily, bringing you closer to achieving your main goal.
For example, if you scored low in the Spiritual and Personal Growth category, you could choose an inspiring book and set aside 10 minutes each morning to read a few pages. Alternatively, you could commit to waking up half an hour earlier every morning to meditate (join my free 7-day Wellness Wakeup Challenge!), journal, or listen to an uplifting podcast or spiritual sermon.
If you scored low in Friendships and have nothing social scheduled in your task list, consider scheduling a monthly gathering with friends. This could be hosting a dinner, asking a friend to join you on a walk with the dogs, or starting a monthly book club.
Commit to this micro-goal for at least the next week, making it a non-negotiable part of your routine.
3. Set boundaries:
We all have limits to our time and energy. You've added a micro-goal to your task list and established why it's important, making it non-negotiable. Now you must create room in your schedule to achieve it. What can you remove from your calendar or to-do list?
Maybe you're on the condo committee because your neighbour thought you'd be a great asset, and you are, but you feel constricted every time a meeting notice comes through. Drop it. There are inevitably items on our list that are there out of habit or to please others, but don't align with our integrity or what feeds our soul. These are the items that need to be dropped to make room for our priorities.
Put boundaries in place to protect your top priorities and make them non-negotiable. For example, if family is high on your list but you scored low in that area on the Wheel of Life, where is the discrepancy? Are your evenings filled with commitments to people outside of your family or spent scrolling through social media? The boundary here may look like no work or phones after 6 PM.
4. Take care of yourself:
Make sure to take care of your health and well-being. We all know that eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly are important parts of feeling good, but often we don’t put ourselves first because we have to take care of everyone else first. This mentality has to change if you want to create balance in your life.
Sleep is one of the most important components of a relaxed nervous system and a productive day. Make sure you are getting enough rest and taking breaks throughout the day to avoid burnout. Incorporating activities like yoga, meditation, or mindfulness practices can also help you feel more centred and grounded, allowing you to better navigate the demands of both work and life.
5. Seek support:
If you struggle with accountability, find a friend or family member to help keep you grounded. Statistics show that having a support system makes you more likely to stay committed on the days when you feel like giving up. Remember to only share your goals with someone you trust and who has your best interests at heart. Otherwise, you may find yourself trying to prove something or feel the need to defend yourself, which is counterproductive.
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Find a mentor or coach to guide you on your journey. They can offer advice and support to help you find the right balance that works for you.
In conclusion, finding work-life balance is an ongoing process of intentional prioritization and adjustment. It involves assessing your priorities, organizing and setting micro-goals, setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, and seeking support when needed. By actively managing and prioritizing different aspects of your life, you can achieve a sense of fulfillment and balance that aligns with your values and goals. Remember, balance is not a static state, but rather an ongoing process of making adjustments to keep all the different elements of our lives in check.
